BeLoved eVotional – Week 2: Single as a Pringle

First things first, this is a 14 day devotional, but for my sake and how I work, I changed it into a weekly devotional. I believe it will help me in the long run to focus on one topic a week, plus then it will last longer as well.

This weeks topic is called Single as a Pringle, and boy do I love Pringles. Okay, that’s besides the point, but this one reached out to me. I’ve always been boy crazy to the point if I wasn’t dating a guy, I was talking to one, or if I wasn’t talking to one, I was looking for the next one I wanted to have a crush on. It was baaaad. Until in about April that I gave up (partially) and “tried” to be single. It failed, because I continued to look for the attention in guys and ended up being used every time. My time was wasted, my heart was hurt. Until I lost a friend over a situation and I thought to myself that enough was enough. New Year, New Me (so cliche’ I know). I accepted the fact that I was single, and it was probably going to be that way for a long time, because I truly don’t love myself wholeheartedly – that’s another story for another time. Yes, I still have dating apps on my phone, BUT I have all notifications turned off and only open it for conversation. And yes, I’ve been steadily going on dates with this one guy, but we only exchange like 2 texts per day so I’m not too pressed about it. But at the end of the day, I put myself first in every situation. But let me stop rambling & let’s see what this weeks eVotional dives us into.

GET IT OUT:

What ways have you felt alone, isolated, or inadequate? What triggers those feelings?

I have felt alone in friend groups where all of my friends are in relationships and I have nothing to contribute because I was the only one single. I have felt isolated in a verbally abusive relationship. He didn’t allow me to talk to or hang out with anyone but him, but even when I was with him, I felt invisible because he was alway high off Xanax and drunk that made him black out and forget everything every night. I have felt inadequate with every relationship since being raped the first time and all the relationships I had between my sexual assaults. The funny thing about all this is that the male species triggers these feelings, but with the last two, black males who have power over me trigger these feelings.

WORDS OF SCRIPTURE:

Isaiah 54:5: “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.”

Jeremiah 31:3: “The LORD appeared to us in the past saying “I have loved you with everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Everlasting means unchanging and unending.

Mark 3:33-35: “”Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”” YOU are apart of Jesus’ Family. Never have the need to feel alone or isolated.

One last thing: MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS DOES NOT DETERMINE MY WORTH.

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