Beloved: Week 8 – The Relationship Rollercoaster


What kind of rollercoaster are you riding? Are you experiencing steep ups and downs in your relationships? Maybe facing uncertainty? Where is your trust lacking? 

The rollercoaster I am riding is strictly with myself. I have a tendency to start things and immediately or even gradually fail or not finish them. I recently got into Texas Tech – guns up – , the school I’ve been wanting to go to once I heard about their apparel program. I went to their home for the holidays in Denver. I went to transfer day at Tech. Both before my application was fully submitted, and I still was set on going.

I completed my application on March 3rd and I get accepted roughly a week later while I was on my way to Cabo. I literally cried happy tears. I’ve never had so much luck before in my life with getting something that I wanted. That I immediately signed up for orientation. I figured the two day one was better since I’ll be driving 8 hours from Colorado, even thought that would probably be more freshman than transfers. But to me, people are people, and I need to meet people.

I get back from Cabo and get awarded with financial aid, but I don’t have instate tuition. Not the end of the world, still cheaper if I stayed instate because I am considered out of state in Colorado. Then I remember my saving skills suck, and I’ve been having money problems all year. The doubts of my mind start coming through, but I keep pushing past them. I learn that there is a payment plan to pay my part of the tuition. I can make it, but it will definitely be bumper to bumper. Then I start thinking what my parents are gonna think about all of this and how much my mind is gonna think they are going to doubt me.

I hate being doubted. It’s like a reminder of how much people think you can’t achieve anything great in your life. But the doubts in your mind are different. It’s like you almost want to believe what your mind tells you, but I know in my gut this what I want to do. And I know in my gut, I can do this. Just a matter of my gut and myself proving to my mind that I can achieve great things even though I have been hurt and down trotted in the past.


Isaiah 26:3 – “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”

Isaiah 41:10 – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

1 John 4:8 – “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 



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