Love and it’s difficulties

Love bounds you unwillingly, unexpectedly. It's normally puts you in a position of an uncontrollable sensation. You feel bounded to the other person. Like you owe your life to them. They are one of the most important things or people in your life. Love is hard. Hard for you – the person feeling the love – and hard for everyone else to understand. It's worse for others to understand because they try to control the relationship. They try to doubt your feelings and say you don't know what love is. They try to break up the relationship. It's hard for you because it's a lot of emotion at once. It also makes the emotions more of an extreme sense. Like I care more, I'm more sensitive to multiple things of him, I worry more, I'm more affectionate. Which can be a lot on them, but you can't stop it. It just keeps growing.

🎶you know me / now and then, I'm a mess / please don't hold that against me / I'm a girl with a temper and heat / I know I can be crazy / but I'm not just a fuck – up, I'm the fuck – up you need / I don't hear nobody when you focus on me / perfectly imperfect, yeah, I hope that you see / tell me you see🎶 don't leave – snakeships

Now I put this in here because the love I give is not from a "perfect" or "normal" person. It's from someone with depression, anxiety, and ptsd. Someone who has been told that my caringness and sensitive are negative flaws. I am a mess. I can be crazy. And I am a fuck – up. But no one would love you better than me. I'm also fragile, and delicate, and emotional. But that comes with the territory and I'm okay with that, and so far so is he. It just teaches him how to work with me. He has started to understand my emotions and my coping skills. He doesn't ask questions, because he already knows. He jokes that I have issues but he doesn't use it against me. He wants the best for me and wants me to be happy. I've learned that I can't always play the victim with my struggles. I can't use them as excuses. We can talk about them but if we can put me into a happier place then that's the first step to do.

The worst thing about being in a relationship at 24 while still living with your parents is that they try to control the relationship. They state their doubts and concerns and try to break up the relationship. They put the worst on the other person. They don't trust your love for the person. They get annoyed and think negatively because they haven't met him and/or you haven't talked about him. Not everything in my life is important for y'all to know. I don't need second hand judgement from y'all. I already get judgement in everything else in my life, some things I can do on my own. At the end of the day if you don't trust him, well I'm dating him not you. He respects me. He acknowledges my existence. He takes care of me. He supports me. And many more. The ins and outs of my relationship isn't a topic of conversation. I need something of my own and not controlled by someone else.


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